A Long Fight

How much longer should I fight?

There will always be someone bigger than me, smaller than me,

Richer than me, poorer than me,

Smarter than me, know more than me,

I just feel like I’m fighting a battle; where my battery is running dead

I’m battling against oppressions, that only deem my light,

Depression when I get beaten by life;

Isolate myself when I lose,

I feel like I’m losing my mind; i’m not finding any balance between life,

I feel anxious as if my body is breaking down,

How much longer can I fight?

How much longer can I hold on to hope that one day this battle that I am fighting with myself eternally,

When my mind comes alive,

When I see vivid images of me crashing down in dreams losing,

It feels hopeless to even dream

Why can’t I feel like the stars are closer?

But it feels like they are farther away each time I try to get them shiny in my face,

But each time it will get to someone else,

Maybe it hasn’t seen me yet

Maybe I’m still in the darkness

But how can I come out when it feels like I’m being covered?

I just want to be seen; and recognize for being me,

But it feels like i’m just existing and not living

Why can’t I just BE?

I’m speaking about being me; depression is pressuring me

I don’t want to be the one that is just here; existing,

What is life when you are not enjoying your being?

Don’t I have a purpose to chase?

But what if I don’t succeed?

No, no,

I overthink things too much

Everything maybe true

Living my dreams matters to me

And Yes; there will always be someone bigger than me, smaller than me,

Richer than me, poorer than me,

Smarter than me, and know more than me

But that doesn’t count me out from living,

I am not easily fooled about getting to where i’m supposed to be when the time isn’t yet in reach,

I am not going to let anxiety weight me, control me just because of a feeling;

A feeling that take a day; a moment to fade away,

My thoughts makes me feel these things,

And I might get nervous over destiny that’s uncertain,

I may not be living in my purpose right now; but I know I have one

In my mind it is the Truth

So I pick the Truth over feelings

I chose to fight without having an expiration date on it

Because fighting for what you want is something that you never stop doing

The light will come

Not a feeling to tell you that you are not enough

You have a helper higher in power,

What is one dark feeling to tell you what you can not do?

This is a long fight, but you have the upper hand.