Moving On From You When We Never Dated

It feels so suffocating being in the same space as you

Knowing that I’m falling for you but it’s one-sided

I want to touch you, but I can’t,

I want to hold you, but I can’t,

Even if I feel like kissing you I can’t,

I can only say hi to you or hug you only, as friends

I can’t even say I love you, without double-checking that it’s not my feelings saying those words to you,

I have to be self-conscious when I hug you, with the way I look at you, making sure when I text you that it looks like I don’t still have feelings for you,

I wish I never told you;

Not knowing how I felt was easier

I could hold your hands in public without you thinking twice about it,

I could kiss you goodnight or goodbye on the cheeks without my intention being public, judged, or romanticized,

I could love you in secret because there, there is a possibility that you can love me back,

Loving you in secret, was a possibility that I could have a chance.