Suffocating
It feels so suffocating being in the same space as you
Knowing that I’m falling for you but it’s one-sided
I want to touch you, but I can’t
I want to hold you, but I can’t
Even if I feel like kissing you I can’t
I can only say hi to you or hug you only, as friends
I can’t even say I love you, without double-checking that it’s not my feelings saying those words to you;
I have to be self-conscious when I hug you,
With the way I look at you,
Making sure when I text you that it looks like I don’t still have feelings for you
I wish I never told you,
Not knowing how I felt was easier
I could hold your hands in public without you thinking twice about it
I could kiss you goodnight or goodbye on the cheeks without my intention being public, judged, or romanticized
I could love you in secret because there; there was a possibility that you could love me back
Loving you in secret meant; there was a possibility that I could have a chance.
